


I Like Me Better (When I'm With You)

by londonbird



Series: All I Ever Wanted Is Here In My Arms [3]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Inspired by Real Events, Love, M/M, Self-Doubt, Suffering, Understanding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-10-28
Packaged: 2019-01-17 07:50:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12361008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/londonbird/pseuds/londonbird
Summary: Fernando and Sergio struggle with being apart when Fernando has a tough time with Atlético.(Set after Atlético Madrid's away match against AS Roma in the CL, a goalless draw where Fernando remained on the bench despite all substitutions being used. Real Madrid played Apoel Nicosia at home the day after.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all! This is another installment of my series and the good news is it's finished already. The other two chapters will be posted next Saturday and the Saturday after.
> 
> I am now working on the next chapter of Forever's Gonna Start Tonight so that will definitely continue.
> 
> Thank you AndalusianSunshine, for inspiration and motivation ♥︎

_How is he?_

It was seconds after the match when Sergio sent the message so he knew it was going to be a while until he would get a response. He had wanted to send it since during the match, since it had been clear that Fernando wasn't going to get any playing time today, but he had managed to hold back until now at least.

He tossed the phone onto the bed, staring at it before pacing up and down for a moment. He felt restless, frustrated, helpless. And knowing that Fernando must be feeling the same only a thousand times worse didn't help either, especially because he wasn't the kind of person to handle situations like this well on his own.

Fernando internalized everything, he kept to himself, dwelling on his thoughts, and that was dangerous because it just dragged him down more. He would fall deeper and deeper into a spiral of doubt and self-hate, blaming himself for the most ridiculous things, and it was hard to pull him out of that. And that was when Sergio was with him, it was indefinitely worse when he wasn’t because Fernando would just let his bad thoughts run free then.

As he probably was already doing right now, yet all they had was talking on the phone and Fernando would be easily able to shut Sergio out and indulge in his self-loathing.

The mere thought of it made Sergio's heart race, and he stopped to rub his temples and take a deep breath. He had his own match to focus on, he shouldn't actually allow himself to get distracted and upset by this. There was too much at stake, he knew that more than anyone.

But it wasn't like he would be able to go to sleep now anyway. He was too worried, he wouldn't be able to close his eyes until he had at least talked to Fernando. The match only was tomorrow, which left plenty of time to focus and get in the right mindset after he had checked on Fer, or at least that's what he told himself.

Sergio looked at his watch and sighed. Fernando and the team would be leaving for the airport any minute now. And then Fernando would be back in Madrid but he wouldn't be able to see him until late after the match. 

It wasn’t as bad in the Liga, where they rarely stayed away overnight as they could manage most away trips in a day, but the Champion’s League was different of course. Not just different cities but different countries, and depending on the exact schedules it meant they would be apart for three or even four days at times. 

Needless to say that was hard on both of them, considering they didn’t get that much time together when they were both at home either so every moment counted and the ones missed weighed even heavier.

He briefly considered just calling Fernando without waiting for Saúl’s reply, so desperate to talk to him and hear his voice, but he didn’t want to risk it. He needed to know what to expect, what mood Fernando was in, what he could say to him because he wouldn’t be able to take it if they ended up fighting now. Not when they were two thousand kilometres and a Champion’s League match apart.

When Sergio’s phone finally buzzed it took him less than a second to open the message.

_He’s not talking to anyone. You should call. We’re leaving in about 20._

Fuck. Sergio's free hand balled into a fist as he frowned at Saúl’s words. If Fernando wasn't talking, it was really bad. It meant he was deeply upset, hurt. He always turned silent then. 

Sergio was the opposite, he had no problem talking or even yelling about his feelings for everyone to hear, kicking or throwing things, anything to get it out of his system. It wasn't always pretty but at least he felt better afterwards. Whereas Fernando just kept stuff inside carrying it around like a burden that only got heavier.

His thumb hovered over the call button next to Fernando's name but he was hesitant. What was he actually going to say to him now? There was nothing but the same words he always told him, I'm sorry, it's not your fault, I'm sure next time will be better, you deserve better. He had used these words so many times, he wondered if they hadn't already lost their meaning.

If only Fernando was there with him, he could have used other ways to comfort him because this felt like one of those situations where words weren't really the best option. But all he had now was his phone and he had to say something.

Sergio shook his head at himself and pressed call. This was ridiculous. He always knew what to say to Fernando, right?

He picked up on the third ring. “Hi.” Sergio immediately noticed that his voice was different, it sounded cold, deflated. “I didn't think you'd call… I'm just about to leave for the airport.”

It almost sounded like an accusation, that first part, and suddenly Sergio felt guilty. Maybe Fernando had expected, wanted him to call right after the match? Sergio had just assumed he would be too busy because he knew what it was like and that it was better to wait until Fer was back at the hotel. But maybe it hadn't been like that today?

“I thought you were gonna be busy so I waited.” He chewed on his lip, waiting for a response. He had the strange feeling he already didn't like where the conversation was heading.

“Yeah well, since I didn't play today, I was done pretty quickly and had lots of time waiting for everyone.”

There it was. Fuck. Sergio felt like punching something, so many emotions flaring up inside of him, anger, sadness, hurt, but instead he closed his eyes, trying to remain calm, even though it was difficult. He didn’t know what to say, and it made him only feel more upset because he always knew what to say to Fernando. But in that moment he felt so distant, and not just because they were in different countries.

And the worst was, Sergio felt partially responsible for Fernando getting his hopes crushed again. After he didn’t start in the Liga the previous weekend, Sergio had tried to cheer him up by assuring him that the coach must have been resting him and that he would start against Roma. It had been Fernando’s motivation for training even harder and continuing to put in extra shifts at the gym because he loved playing the Champion’s League so much, it was so special to him with Atléti. And with every game he didn’t participate in, he heard the clock ticking, another missed chance as he was getting closer to retirement.

“I'm sorry, I… just… I really wanted you to have a good match tonight. Everyone could see that the team needed you. I’m sorry, Fer.”

He knew Fernando probably didn’t want to hear it right now and that it was barely comforting, yet it was the only thing he could think of. It was difficult to find the right words that had not been said a hundred times already. It felt like he was running out of ways to show support to Fernando because in the end, he couldn’t do much more than any other fan who left positive comments on Instagram. It sucked.

There was silence on the other end except for a mumbled “I know” and some rustling around, leading Sergio to assume Fernando was either packing his suitcase or at least pretending to be to get him to hang up. He tried not to feel hurt by Fer barely acknowledging his words because he knew he didn’t mean to be so dismissive. It was hard though.

That was why he thought it would be for the best to end the call soon, but he also didn't want to part with Fernando like that. He hated saying goodbye on a bad note.

“I miss you”, he brought himself to admit, steering the conversation to what he hoped was an easier topic. 

Fernando wasn't having it though.

“Listen, I- I have to go.” His voice sounded so small, like he was trying to convince himself of his words. Sergio could sense he was lying but didn't question it. “And besides, you need to focus on your match. At least one of us should do well.”

Sergio swallowed hard, suddenly fighting back tears. He could never stand it when Fernando tore himself down like that. It made Sergio want to punch him, shake him, anything to make him realise that he was talking nonsense and doing himself so wrong. But it would be useless trying to do anything about it now because Fernando was in that mindset and wouldn't accept any other opinion.

“Okay”, he managed in response, barely above a whisper. “Have a safe flight. I'll see you tomorrow night then.” He paused to wipe at his eyes. “I lov-” The line went dead. Fernando had hung up.

Sergio pushed his phone aside and crawled under the covers, curling up on his side as he pulled the pillow over his head. He felt overwhelmed, mad that Fernando had brushed him off so easily and how selfish he had been, but at the same time upset that Fernando was going through a situation like this, without him by his side. It was unbearable for him to be here. It wasn’t fair.

He wished he could fast forward the time to after the match or even just hide here in bed until he could go home tomorrow night. All he wanted was to be with Fernando again and make up with him, make him feel better, take care of him. It was the last thought on his mind when he finally started drifting off.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fernando's POV after the phone call.
> 
> For the record, I have no affiliation with Fernando so his thoughts here only represent my own personal interpretation of his situation.

Fernando sank down on the bed, hiding his face in his hands. He felt awful about the way he had hung up on Sergio just now and he regretted it terribly. This was not how they treated each other.

It’s not that he hadn’t wanted to talk to Sergio, who once again seemed to have the patience of a saint with him. Fernando had wanted to tell him that he didn't have to feel sorry, that it wasn't his fault. That he knew Sergio wanted what was best for him and that he did more than enough already by always supporting him.

However, from the moment he'd heard Sergio's voice through the phone, he had been ready to break down and words had left him. It had actually made him feel worse, the soothing tone of Sergio's words made him realize just how lonely and vulnerable he was feeling. How badly he missed him.

Fernando wanted to be home with him, safe in his arms with that voice murmuring comforting words to him. With Sergio he always felt protected, everything seemingly so far away. The critics, the pressure, the journalists and everyone who had an opinion on him. It didn't matter when they were together, no matter how bad he had played or thought he had played, Sergio always managed to make him feel worthy again.

He had wanted to tell Sergio all that. But somehow he had felt paralyzed, unable to communicate anything to him. So he had pretended to be sulking before eventually hanging up, avoiding a proper conversation. Which had not helped at all.

Instead, Fernando had to live with the guilt of having made Sergio feel like shit without a reason. And Sergio… hopefully he would be able to put it to the back of his mind and focus on tomorrow. Fernando wouldn’t be able to take it, if he ruined Sergio’s match for him.

He sighed, checking his watch. The team would be ready to go to the airport any second but he didn't want to leave his hotel room. He didn't want to face the others. It got more unbearable each time, the sympathetic smiles, the pats on the back. They just wanted to cheer him up and show him he was still part of the team, but there was always that lingering hint of pity in everything they did or said and Fernando hated it.

And it wasn’t just that. Whenever he looked at the others, those who now took his place most of the time, it made him feel bad things. Jealousy, envy, even resentment sometimes. Just thinking about it now made the blood rush to his cheeks in embarrassment because he knew it was not right to feel that way, to see his teammates as competition, to long for what they had.

This wasn’t about him, it was about the team and what was best for them and he should be happy that they were doing well, even if it was without him.

_Without him._ Those words stung. It felt more and more like he didn’t actually matter anymore, like he had nothing left to contribute. It looked like the big games of the season would happen without him, and even though he had signed his new contract knowing full well he wouldn’t start regularly, he had imagined it would still be better than this.

He didn’t want to spend what could be his last season on the bench, only watching as the team played and won, in the end barely remembering having been a part of it. He wanted to go out in a positive way, not looking like a pathetic loser who hadn’t known when his time was over and desperately tried to drag out his career, hanging onto his past.

Swallowing down a wave of tears, Fernando picked up his phone again, just looking at it for a moment, his lock screen, a picture of himself and Sergio from their holiday that summer. It had been their first holiday together as a couple and it was such a happy memory for him, one he liked to recall whenever he needed comfort.

It made him feel a little more calm and warm, remembering how relaxing it had felt to spend a whole week away from their responsibilities, just the two of them, focusing on nothing but themselves. Life had been so simple and it helped him put things into perspective now.

After so many years, he was finally with the man he loved and they had a beautiful little family together with Elsa. He was happy and at peace because he had found his place. Wasn’t that the most important thing? He already had so much, and there was a voice in his head that told him he should be grateful for that instead of wanting even more.

And maybe, maybe this was also the price he had to pay for finally getting to be with Sergio, some kind of karma because he had left his family for him.

A knock on the door tore Fernando from his thoughts and he got up, quickly gathering his things and heading out the door. Now that he was standing and moving again he realised how tired he felt. He scolded himself for it mentally, he hadn’t played a single minute after all so there was no reason to be tired. Sitting on the bench could have hardly worn him out.

Maybe the coach was right and his form still wasn’t good enough. He had used to feel good after training, content with his own performance and how he was still able to keep up with his younger teammates without many problems, but nowadays he had learned not to trust his instincts anymore.

Whenever he felt like he had really stepped it up during a session, he usually ended up being benched. It didn’t make sense to him and he had never received a satisfying explanation, but still he never complained. 

Sergio had told him to speak up for himself, he had said the club was taking advantage of his modesty, that they were pushing him around because they knew he would let them. But Fernando wasn’t the kind of guy to raise a fuss and make demands, justified or not. He didn’t want that kind of attention, that reputation.

Instead he took his place, watching from the sidelines, trying to conserve what little self confidence was left in him while he waited for the coach to have mercy and sub him in for at least ten or twenty minutes.

But even when Fernando got the chance to join the game, it was rarely something to enjoy. He could always feel the pressure weighing down on him, pressure of having to deliver, pressure to save the team with some genius move, pressure to turn the match around as a sign that he was still capable of contributing something worthwhile.

No other player seemed to have to prove that all the time, it was just him. And he hated that role because he didn’t want to be the one it all depended on. He’d already carried that burden during his first spell with Atléti, way too young, and it had almost broken him.

He was tired of dealing with the expectations and how he supposedly let everyone down whenever he so much as stepped on the field. He wasn’t that good at dealing with pressure. He wasn’t like Sergio, who was able to shrug it off and rise to the challenge every single time. He was weak.

Fernando almost laughed to himself as he thought, maybe not playing at all was a blessing in disguise, since at least this time he couldn’t be blamed for the team’s bad performance. It’d spare him the comments calling for his retirement for once, what an achievement. 

In moments like this he sometimes wondered why Sergio stayed with him, what he even had to offer him still. They had fallen in love at the height of Spain’s success, celebrating two Euros and one World Cup together, sharing the happiness and euphoria. It had created a special bond between them, one he had thought would last forever, but things were so different now. Not between them, but the circumstances of their lives. It was like two different worlds.

Sergio was still winning titles, it had become a regular occurrence for him as captain of Real Madrid and one of the most popular footballers in the world. Whereas he himself, he could barely remember the last time he had won or achieved anything. Last season, Sergio had scored the same amount of goals as him. As a defender.

He was incredibly happy for Sergio, that he seemed to get better still, his career reaching yet more new heights with every year. But it also made him realize how much his own career had declined, and that he didn’t have a lot going for him these days. Hell, his attempt at modeling had been more successful than his entire last season.

Fernando knew he wasn’t done with football, he felt like he still had something left to give. But maybe football was done with him, he thought, as he drifted off to sleep on the plane.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday Alise!

Sergio waved at the reporters, smiling apologetically. He was not going to stop for interviews this time, he had somewhere more important to be.

His heart was still racing from the match, from the rush of adrenaline especially after he had managed to score. It had been a while since his last goal that wasn’t a header, and he’d been trying really hard to score from open play rather than just set pieces. Especially in matches where he could allow himself to take a bigger role in attack, because he enjoyed being more involved in the gameplay instead of just hanging back and securing the defense the whole match.

However, recently, his real motivation had been that he wanted to score for Fernando. He was so frustrated about his own goal drought, Sergio wanted to show him that he shouldn’t give up hope and that it was worth it to keep fighting.

Today it had finally paid off and he’d scored a nice bicycle kick, one that even Cris had complimented him on. But all that mattered to Sergio was that the ball had gone in somehow, and he had dedicated it to Fernando by imitating his archer celebration.

He hoped Fernando had seen it, they hadn’t talked since last night and he was a tiny little bit worried that Fernando could still be mad or upset. So maybe he hadn’t watched the game or not even waited up for him.

It would be unlike Fernando, because no matter how bad they had fought before they had still watched each other play. But Sergio always thought that there must be a point where it would be different, where Fernando would snap considering how tense he had been since things had changed for the worse, and maybe this was it.

Slowly doubts started to rise in Sergio, he was just assuming they were okay but what if not? He didn’t want to fight, he didn’t even want to have a discussion, he just wanted to—

He forgot his train of thought when he walked in and was instantly hit by that comforting feeling of being home and in Fernando’s presence. The TV was on, blue light flickering in the dark with no sound and it smelled like fresh laundry and home cooked food and vanilla candles, Fernando’s favorite scent. He instantly felt warm and at peace and knew that everything would be okay.

With his doubts forgotten, Sergio just wanted to see Fernando, to be with him. He rushed to put down his bag and kick off his shoes to get over to the couch, smile spreading on his face as he stepped closer and saw Fernando sprawled out, Elsa curled up on his chest. It made his heart want to burst.

He walked up behind them and gently put his hand on Fernando’s shoulder, leaning down to put a soft kiss on his forehead. “Hey”, he whispered, breath catching in his throat when Fernando opened his eyes and looked up at him, craning his neck for a proper kiss. “Hi.”

Fernando smiled sleepily and the look they exchanged said more than words. He looked relieved and happy to see him and Sergio felt the last remaining bit of tension fall off him. His hand squeezed Fernando’s shoulder, thumb rubbing over the fabric of his shirt in a soothing gesture as they were lost in the intimacy of the moment for a minute before Fernando sat up. He moved carefully so as not to wake Elsa while holding her close, and when he spoke his voice was calm and quiet.

“Do you wanna put her to bed? I’ll heat you up dinner in the meantime. You haven’t eaten, right?”

Sergio smiled, he loved when Fernando had things all planned out and taken care of. And he loved when Fernando cooked for them, it was one of his biggest weaknesses.

“No, I came home as fast as I could.” Some of the players had asked him to join them for dinner but he had declined and they’d understood why. Sometimes family was more important.

He placed a kiss on top of Fernando’s head, who hummed appreciatively. It was clear how tired he was and suddenly Sergio felt bad. “You can go to bed if you’re tired. Don’t worry about dinner.”

Fernando shook his head no. “I’m fine. Not that tired yet.” He got up and gently peeled Elsa’s arms off himself, watching with warm eyes how she instinctively wrapped them around Sergio’s neck once he had handed her over, his hand lingering on Sergio’s arm.

Sergio thought Fernando was gonna say something, but then the moment had passed and it didn’t matter because it was about that feeling of their little family being together again and that didn’t need words, he felt it too. 

Fer gave a goodnight kiss to Elsa before heading to the kitchen and Sergio carried her to her room, quietly singing to her as he always did at night and whispering to her how much he loved her and had missed her. He stayed with her for a few minutes but she didn’t wake up, continuing sleeping peacefully in her bed next to all the plushies and dolls.

When he came back to the living room, he found a steaming plate of lasagna on the coffee table and Fernando back on the couch, his eyes closed again. He sat down and started eating, digging in because he was so incredibly hungry, as if he hadn’t eaten all day. And he actually hadn’t eaten much, the conversation with Fernando still heavy on his mind, killing his appetite.

“Did she wake up?” He felt Fernando’s hand on his lower back, sliding under his shirt and caressing casually, giving him goosebumps because he had missed that so much. “No”, he replied before scooping up another mouthful. “Did she stay up the whole match?”

“She drifted off just before halftime. But she woke up again in time to see your goal, she was so excited.” The smile was audible in Fernando’s voice and Sergio put down his plate, turning to him only to find him looking at him with the softest expression on his face. “Ran to the TV to kiss the screen when they showed your close up and all.”

Sergio gave a little laugh as he imagined that, looking down as he almost blushed. “You’re exaggerating.” He still couldn’t quite believe that he had become so important to Elsa that she basically regarded him as her second dad, and also that Fernando had allowed him to take that role in the first place. It made his heart swell with love and pride.

“As if”, Fernando smiled. “You know how she gets. Just ask her tomorrow.” He cupped Sergio’s cheek and leaned in for a soft kiss, barely pulling back when he spoke again. “I’m proud of you, too, by the way.” Sergio felt his heartbeat speed up at that, always getting a rush when Fernando complimented him on his play or anything, really. There weren’t a lot of things that meant as much to him as Fernando’s approval.

He closed his eyes and pressed their lips together again and they kissed for a long moment, just lips moving gently, lovingly, and Sergio getting lost in the feeling of Fernando’s fingertips brushing against his cheek, his taste and the way their noses rubbed against each other occasionally. 

“I missed you so much”, he murmured when they broke apart, unable to move away completely and continuing to drop little kisses on Fernando’s mouth until the corners turned up into a small smile. “Felt like you were gone forever.”

Fernando chuckled, tugging on Sergio’s shirt to pull him down next to him so they were both lying back comfortably against the couch. “Always so dramatic.” 

Sergio pouted and wrapped his arm around Fernando’s shoulder, pulling him against his side. “Didn’t you miss me too?”

“Hmmm, always.” Fernando pressed a little kiss to Sergio’s neck, right where his pulse was, and they fell into comfortable silence. Sergio looked down at Fernando’s face, his expression relaxed for once, soft. 

The wrinkles around his eyes were barely there now, the creases in his forehead invisible, his dimples gone. He looked truly at peace, all the traces of his troubles and torments temporarily dormant, nothing giving away all that he had been through and everything he worried about on a daily basis, causing his face to be tense and tired most of the time.

He could still remember what Fernando’s face had looked like when he had fallen in love with him all those years ago, when they were both still young and carefree. Well, he had been carefree. Fernando had always felt the weight of expectation on his shoulders, right from the beginning, and had never managed to shake that. It had affected him throughout his whole career, he’d never been able to play freely, something Sergio had not understood back then.

Only with the years he’d realised that things really weren’t going to change for Fernando and so he’d just watched as his face had collected lines and creases as Sergio tried to help him deal with the pressure, distract him sometimes or bring him back down when he was being too hard on himself.

It had led to many fights and sleepless nights, even before they were really together, and he often felt like it was useless, like he wasn’t helping Fer at all. Until one night Fernando had gotten unusually emotional and told him that he wouldn’t even have made it that far without Sergio.

He traced Fernando’s eyebrows with his fingertip as he recalled that conversation, how he had felt both overwhelmed with love but also scared shitless at the idea of Fernando giving up somewhere along the way. It still made him shiver then and he pulled Fernando closer, holding him tight in his arm.

He looked at his freckles, how prominent they were now at the end of summer after being exposed to the sun for so long. Sprinkles of innocence on a face that had witnessed so much pain and disappointment and not enough victories. Not enough happiness. 

Their lives couldn’t have been more different, and sometimes he felt bad because he’d had it so easy compared to Fernando. Sure, he’d had to fight for success as well, but compared to Fernando he’d usually gotten what he had hoped for in the end. And the few times where he hadn’t, it had only helped him come back stronger. Whereas Fernando had always struggled with fate and not feeling good enough.

He moved his finger down the bridge of Fernando’s nose, across his cheek over the shell of his ear and down his jawline. His skin felt so soft, it was always such a contrast to his frowning expression. To how tough and strong he felt the need to present himself.

Sergio loved that contrast, and he loved to be the one to take all the tension out of Fernando. To be the one who was able to peel off the mask, to set free what little youthfulness was still left in him after years of self-doubt and defeat. To make him smile like he meant it, and to give him peace when they were together.

He tilted his head down and brushed his lips against Fernando’s temple. Soft and warm. He closed his eyes and thought he could almost taste the freckles, too, so sweet and familiar.

Sergio was starting to doze off when he felt Fernando stir against him. “Sergio?” He pulled his head back and loosened his arm around Fer just enough so that he could scoot back a bit to look at him.

“Sorry I hung up on you.”

A light smile played around Sergio’s lips as he blindly stroked his fingers down Fernando’s arm reassuringly. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not”, Fernando sighed and Sergio opened his eyes. “You don’t have to justify yourself. I understand.” He knew Fernando hadn’t meant it and he’d moved on, and he didn’t want Fernando to keep beating himself up about it.

“But it wasn’t right. I hurt you.” Fernando looked down. “Didn’t I?” He fidgeted with the buttons on Sergio’s shirt. “You just wanted to talk to me so I should have pulled myself together and talked to you.”

Sergio frowned and reached for Fernando’s hand, taking it into his own. It felt warm and their fingers slid together automatically, so natural. “You don’t ever have to pull yourself together for me, Fer. I don’t want you to hide your feelings. Just… maybe next time tell me you’re not in the mood to talk, okay?”

Fernando nodded meekly, not looking entirely convinced. “Okay.” It was clear he was still feeling guilty and Sergio wished nothing more than to be able to take that guilt off him.

He pulled Fernando closer again and held him, allowing him to dwell on his thoughts. Sometimes it was necessary to let him do that, battling his demons on his own so that he could clear his mind and move on.

Sergio found it hard to accept, as he was used to being responsible for resolving conflicts in his role as captain and keeping the peace, making people confront their problems and talking things out. To learn that it didn’t always work like that in his relationship with Fernando had taken him a lot of time and patience that he didn’t even know he had.

But even though their relationship had put them before many obstacles, some of which they hadn’t even expected when they had jumped into it, they’d only grown through them and strengthened their bond and it had made them realise that at the end of the day it was all worth it.

Once again Sergio came dangerously close to dozing off, feeling so comfortable with Fernando curled up to his side, warm and heavy like a pillow, but then he thought he heard him whisper something. “I love you”, Fernando murmured into the crook of his neck and Sergio smiled. “What’s that, papi?”

He loved to tease Fernando sometimes by using that nickname which he claimed to hate and always got him flustered. Sergio was convinced that meant he actually secretly liked it, but he had never explored it further.

As expected, Fernando groaned and lightly slapped Sergio’s thigh. “Stop it.” Sergio bit his lip to stifle a laugh and forced himself to remain serious. “Ay papi, harder!” It lasted all but five seconds before he burst into laughter about his own joke, his whole body shaking with it.

“Sergio!” Fernando groaned again, sitting up and rubbing at his eyes as Sergio tried to calm down from his laughing fit. But Sergio noticed that there was a hint of a smile on his expression, which was exactly what he had wanted to achieve.

After a few more shaky breaths he was back to normal except for the huge grin on his face. He moved forward and wrapped his arms around Fer, pressing his chest against his back. He could just not not touch him when they were around each other. “I love you, too.” He emphasized his words with a kiss on Fernando’s cheek. “Let’s go to bed?”

Fernando’s smile grew a bit wider. “Mmhhh yes, please.” Sergio kissed his cheek again and got up. “I’ll be there in a minute, I’ll just clean up.” He picked up his plate and Fernando’s and Elsa’s mugs from the coffee table and brought them to the kitchen, loading up the dishwasher and turning it on, smiling to himself the whole time.

He was excited to finally not have to sleep alone in their bed tonight, to sleep next to Fernando and to wake up to him and to make breakfast with Elsa in the morning. 

Yes, those moments were more than worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading <3


End file.
